She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
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