okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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