these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
