In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
