does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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