My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize