So drunk its hurt
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
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he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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