i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
