i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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