Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
