MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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