Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
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