Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
