I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
