Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
