First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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