She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
