The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
