dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Houston, we have a blender
The chlamydia really affected his face.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
You are the jesus of drinking
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
