Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
