the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
