soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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