Pappa wants mamma naked
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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