i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
