i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
