Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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