problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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