dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
