Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
