I wish I could punch you in the face.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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