I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
