2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Screwed.edu
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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