and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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