you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
