You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
