Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize