yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
