What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
