saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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