I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I think my vagina is haunted
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.