I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
its liver damage thursday
Where are you guys?
Drunk
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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