i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
