After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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