Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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