As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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