yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize