He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
