I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
