I accidentally had phone sex last night
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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