thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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