didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
