So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
