i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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