Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
either way he was missing a nipple.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
