I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
did i walk over a car last night?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
