i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize