physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
