We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
