i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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