I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
My penis needs a shock collar
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
