He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
false alarm, still single
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
