Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We are all done wearing pants today
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize