I need help removing her.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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