nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize